classy shit: mini vans and mixtapes

Three years ago, I got rid of my 2009 Chevy Cobalt and got a 2003 Chrysler Town and Country that had been modified with a ramp and tie-downs for wheelchairs. My wife uses a powered wheelchair to get around most of the time, and it helped a lot in getting her to her job every day. For her purposes it was a godsend, though I didn't care too much for it. For starters, while I'm not concerned with having a flashy vehicle, I do want it to look okay, and while the body of the van was okay, the hood had been given a half-ass repainting that couldn't hide a huge shadow from something that once sat on it, specifically an image of a pair of dice with the words Casino Bound written beneath them. This vehicle had clearly been used by a company for the purpose of bringing people to (and presumably from) gambling establishments at one time or another. 

The other thing that bothered me about the van was the sound system, a serious downgrade from my Cobalt. I've never been one to spend excessive amounts on custom stereo setups, but I like to listen to music while I drive, and I like it to be clear and loud. The Cobalt had a good CD player and speakers, along with an auxiliary input I used for a small bluetooth device so I could play music from my phone. The Town and Country had a CD player and a tape deck. The CD player became mostly useless within a year of the purchase, but the tape deck worked fine. I got a bluetooth tape adapter and was able to continue playing music from my phone, though I also got back into keeping tapes in the van for when the adapter ran out of juice or whatever. I bought a few albums I loved on tape, and also started buying dead stock blank cassettes so recordings I made would sound better than those of a Maxell UR tape. I got some mid to late nineties Maxell XL IIs and some early to mid nineties Memorex dBS blanks. You know the ones, very colorful, very late eighties or early nineties. They sounded great.

Back in May of this year, I was a bit depressed from dealing with the pandemic, as I'm sure many of you were or still are. My wife continued working regularly, albeit from home, though my job was in a weird state of flux. I was getting paid, but I wasn't doing much work, and I was starting to feel stagnant and without direction. In an attempt to not sleep in every day, I started selecting songs that got me moving and made a playlist on my phone. Eventually I started paring that playlist down until I got a solid 30 to 40 songs I could have play randomly that would help start my engines in the morning. I liked all of these songs, and wanted to make a version on tape for my van, like the mixtapes I would make for myself, friends or girlfriends back in the nineties, so I edited the playlist until I had a solid 20 songs that lasted a very precise 90 minutes and could be split perfectly down the middle to fit each side of a Maxell XL II 90 blank cassette. I wrote out the track list as clearly as I could on the card included with the tape (my writing is good, but those cards are always kinda waxy and never big enough.) and proceeded to perform my brand of faux mastering so I could record those tracks to a tape. I finished the tape, put it in my van where it stayed, and made a digital version for my phone. I was very pleased.

Back in February, my wife and I began the process of buying a new van with modern modifications that would suit her needs better. We finally got the van about two weeks ago and we both love it. The new ramp and features for her use are perfect, while the sound system is wonderful for me! Furthermore, the van is essentially brand new so the body is perfect, something we're both thrilled about after riding around in the Casino Bound Town and Country for three years.

I was quite happy to get rid of the Town and Country, which I finally did this past week, though I must admit there was a hint of sadness that I wouldn't be playing tapes any time soon, especially the mixtape I made specifically for the van. It made me miss playing all the mixtapes I'd made throughout the years, cassette or CD-based ones. I'd been thinking about possibly sharing that tape here, so I asked my buddy Harvey Cliff to help me make a proper jacket for it, which he did a bang-up job with! And so I'm presenting you with a set of mp3s that are definitely not old, though many of the songs are. If you need some music to get you pumped in the morning or just something aggressive to help you shake the doldrums, I hope this fills that need.

Below you will find a download link along with the tracklist and a little info on what's what. And regarding the title, I was originally the playlist classy stuff but thought classy shit was funnier. For the cover, I chose an image of the lovely Kaho Shibuya that is a bit NSFW. Hopefully no one will be offended by her zaftig appearance.

classy shit   <---THIS IS THE DOWNLOAD LINK. JUST MAKING SURE YOU NOTICE IT.

01 Yukio Kaneoka - Donkey Kong Intro

This is some of the actual music from the NES version of Donkey Kong, taken from a compilation of music from early Nintendo games. Thought this was perfect up against the next track, and it makes me think of arcade games with kill screens, which makes me think of Jean Grae, though not THAT song. Hater's Anthem is more what I had in mind, minus the other F word that is no longer acceptable. I'm afraid Jean might give me a verbal beatdown for specifying what is probably considered being PC, but hey, gotta be me!

02 Rude Ass Tinker - Magical Digital

Rude Ass Tinker is another pseudonym for Mike Paradinas of µ-Ziq and Planet Mu fame. This remix of Hellfish's Radical Digital is more a remake or reconstruction on Mike's part and appeared on Hellfish's Drug Skill EP, which is a collection of remixes of his works. It's perhaps a bit more hip-hop influenced than some of Hellfish's output, though it's still hard as hell. You can buy it here if you'd like to support their brand of insanity.

03 The Feelies - Fa Cé-La (Ork Version)

This version of Fa Cé-La was released only a few years ago on Numero's excellent Ork Records retrospective, Ork Records: New York, New York. A bit louder and more frenzied than the version on their Crazy Rhythms album, I really love this take and wish it hadn't taken four decades for it to see a proper release. The whole Ork Records comp is worth your attention and you can check it out at Numero's Bandcamp page.

04 Run the Jewels - Close Your Eyes (and Count to Fuck) (feat. Zack de la Rocha)

You should already know this one, but just in case you don't, check out their Bandcamp page and let Mike and Jamie kick your ass.

05 Beck - I'm So Green

I posted the original mp3 that was leaked of this fine track several posts ago here, but I did some questionable mastering to this already loud, rather lo-fi track and made it louder still. A cover of Can, whose version I love, but I also love Beck's noisy lo-fi era, and this is a pretty good encapsulation of the rage he could muster back then. This was intended for a Can tribute album to be released on the Dust Brothers' Nickel Bag label, but apart from a flash loop on their now less than functional website (seriously, visit at your own risk, it's very broken) and this full version of the track, very little is known about the album. Too bad, we need more Can stuff, tributes or otherwise.

06 Masterpiece Machine - Rotting Fruit

This is such a sad one. I first heard this back in April after reading a story at Stereogum, and bought the single and vinyl afterwards as I really loved it. Masterpiece Machine is basically Mike Haliechuk and Jonah Falco of Fucked Up and the excellent Jade Hairpins with Riley Gale of Power Trip on vocals. I was very excited at the promise of more stomping electro-metal from these guys. Their single reminded me so much of everything I love about the mechanized warfare of Revolting Cocks and Ministry. And then, Riley passed away at the age of 34 just weeks ago. I didn't really follow Power Trip, but those guys were great, and I loved Masterpiece Machine too. You can still buy the single and 12" from Triple B Records, as well as some merch with the proceeds going to charity. 

07 Akufen - Deck the House

A classic of micro-house and micro-sampling. My Way, the album this is from, should be available at all streaming services. Not as aggressive as some of the stuff in this mix, but it'll still get you shakin' your stuff.

08 Vinnie Maniscalco - TaKillYa

I first heard this a few years ago in a special trailer for the film Baby Driver. It's a great trailer, and a great movie! Vinnie used to have the track available for download if you jumped through a few hoops on his SoundCloud page. Sadly, doesn't seem like those hoops work anymore. He should probably fix that, since it doesn't seem like he's making any money off this otherwise. A slightly different version of this, with gun shots tied to the trap rhythms, appeared on the second volume of the Baby Driver soundtrack, and Vinnie also dropped a remix of his own remix, though I prefer the "original" (read: his first version of the remix, the one here and in the trailer, though I love the original track by The Champs too!). Go see Baby Driver!

09 Tusken Raiders - The Motorbike Track

And now for another Mike Paradinas track! Rude Ass Tinker is actually an anagram of Tusken Raiders, which Mike stopped using presumably after getting some heat from George Lucas. He still has this single on his Bandcamp page though, and under the Tusken Raiders name no less, though it also appeared the µ-Ziq album, Royal Astronomy, in 1999. That said, it's a bass heavy beatdown that sounds like it could soundtrack the car chase in The Raid 2. The b-side is incredible too, though a little faster than I wanted for this mix. Seriously, hit the Bandcamp page and check out the b-side, which is known as The Other Track!

10 Aesop Rock & Homeboy Sandman - Get a Dog (Fort Minor Remix)

Two microphone masters, already heavy, now made heavier with a remix from Mike Shinoda. I've never been a fan of Linkin Park, but Shinoda knows how to bring the hip-hop under his Fort Minor alias. You can get the track here for free along with the three EPs Aes and Sandman dropped, all free as well.

11 sElf - Sucked Out the Center (Vytear Remix)

If you're not familiar with Matt Mahaffey's work under the name sElf, it would make me astoundingly happy if you explored it on my suggestion. That sounds kinda silly, but sElf is such an underappreciated and mostly forgotten band/project from a guy and his friends that should've been huge. Personally, I'd start with Gizmodgery if you need a suggestion, and it should be on all streaming platforms. It's filled with catchy hooks and fully fleshed-out songs, all played on children's instruments. As for this song though, sElf never released a traditional version of it, only posting the vocals and some loose instrumentation with the challenge for listeners to make their own versions. This one is from experimental breakcore artist, Vytear, and is available as part of a collection of remixes he's done via his Bandcamp page. Basically, it's a spazzed-out remix with hyper versions of the amen break rocking alongside a minor-key guitar riff. Love it!

12 Hrvatski - Vatstep DSP

I've hyped this track so many times over the years, though it'll always remain a favorite. Keith Fullerton Whitman aka Hrvatski has done so much more than this track, most of it far more serious, though this and his sole proper album under the Hrvatski moniker are utterly brilliant examples of progressive drum'n'bass venturing into breakcore territory with tons of creativity beyond just making it fast and loud. He finally posted proper digital reissues of Oiseaux 96-98 and Swarm & Dither on his Bandcamp page a few months ago, though they seem to have been moved to Subscriber Exclusive status since then. That's too bad, but they're still available if you subscribe to him for $60 a year. That might seem kind of high, but you get a ton of music for that $60 along with all his new updates which come pretty frequently. If you like experimental ambient recordings, analog synthesizer experiments, field recordings, as well as just about everything from the Hrvatski archives (there are a few missing releases, but the core is there), it's definitely worth a year-long subscription!

13 CONFORMCO - eighty-sixed

Lots of Bandcamp wonderful here! Just shows how great a platform it is for independent artists to sell their music directly to the consumer. As for CONFORMCO, they're part of the Glitch Mode Recordings stable, and all of their releases are free to download. Made up of members of Cyanotic, Vampyre Anvil and project .44, they're firmly RevCo inspired with a touch of Simpsons absurdity thrown in. They're supposed to have a second album coming at some point, though it was probably disrupted by the pandemic. For now though, feel free to check out their output and get that urge to mosh along with the machines!

14 Squarepusher - Speedcrank

From Squarepusher's most recent full-length, Be Up a Hello, I thought this was a great meeting of his spazzed-out breaks and acid tweaks. It's not my favorite Squarepusher track, but it's a contender for the top 15. Check that new album out!

15 DJ Douggpound - ASS 2 DAD (feat. Freemium Earbud Jamal)

In case you're not immediately familiar with DJ Douggpound, you might be more aware of his musical interludes and bizarre editing skills on Tim and Eric's Awesome Show, Great Job! along with their other projects. And if not there, well, he's weird and funny, as is demonstrated by this extremely dirty ditty. I want to hear someone unexpected drop this into the middle of a DJ set, like Hudson Mohawke or DJ Shadow. It will fuck people up! And if you like this, check out Douggpound's album, Up Our Holes, along with the rest of his output. I'm particularly fond of his intensely absurd album, Pound It, which you have to listen to if you want to understand it. 

16 DJ Shadow - I Gotta Rokk (Irn Mnky Swagger Mix)

The aforementioned DJ Shadow appears with a remix from Irn Mnky! The original is a slower rock experiment from Shadow, but Irn Mnky turned it up a notch, making it the soundtrack for an ass-beating. This version appears on the I Gotta Rokk EP which should be on all streaming services.

17 Nine Inch Nails - The Hand That Feeds (Photek Straight Mix)

This is one of those tracks that always gets me pumped. Photek didn't change it all that much, though he streamlined the intro so it starts building at the very beginning. Just a nice, anti-Bush assault, which can easily be directed to the current asshat running our country. And it, along with the former track, seems perfect for a theatrical beatdown of epic proportions.

18 Does It Offend You, Yeah? - Let's Make Out (Kid Nexus Hot Metal Retouch)

I think I posted this here at one point or another. An unauthorized remix of a track featuring Sebastien Grainger from Death From Above 1979 on vocals. I love the original version, a panicked rave-up to getting it on with a lot of screaming, though Kid Nexus raises the panic levels to where someone is probably making a disgusting mess in the back of an Uber and getting a very bad review because of it. I like it!

19 DJ Pierre - Box Energy (4 Remix 1 by AFX)

A classic! AFX (aka Aphex Twin, though I'm sure you knew that already) released a version of this remix on his 2 Remixes by AFX single back in 2001, then turned around and dropped this slightly longer and weirded-out version to subscribers of the Rephlex Records mailing list and visitors to that label's site in 2005. He then went and included it in his amazing SoundCloud dump back in 2015. If you haven't heard it before now, here's your chance. And as for the SoundCloud dump, you can still hear and download the whole monstrous collection at archive.org. As for this mix, it's more an original track than a direct remix of Box Energy, but that's typical for Aphex. I did a little EQing to try to bring the highs up a bit, as this mix doesn't sound like it was ever properly mastered. Didn't change much though, still complete insanity!

20 Strong Bad - Everybody to the Limit

Not nearly as crazy as the rest of the mix, but you've gotta have something solid to end a good mix with, right? Well, I've loved this track forever, but was totally surprised it didn't make the three volumes of Homestar Runner soundtrack compilations that were released earlier this year. Per Strong Bad's official Twitter account, it appears they couldn't include it due to the cost of clearing James Brown's Funky Drummer loop.

I don't know how true all of that is, but the track is still available on HomestarRunner.com, so you can get it there. Definitely check out those Homestar comps though, they're great!

BONUS ROUND!

Well folks, this is probably going to be my last semi-regular post for a while. I know, I missed a few weeks there, but things were crazy. That said, my job is having us all return to our regular hours shortly, even though this might not be permanent quite yet. I'm treating it like it is, because let's face it, it was going to happen eventually. I'll still post from time to time when I have something interesting to share, but don't expect it too often. With that said, I'm posting something I found the other day that syncs up nicely with the content of the classy shit tape. I've had a CD single of Ministry side-project PTP's Rubber Glove Seduction for years, along with several compilations that contain it and it's b-side, My Favorite Things, but I finally picked up an original vinyl pressing the other day and am absolutely in love with it! The artwork looks great blown up to 12x12 inches! So I ripped it and am sharing the high-res files with you. There is more post-processing on the b-side but the rip still sounds very good. As for the cover, it's a fresh scan from my CD single. Hope you enjoy it!

PTP - Rubber Glove Seduction

01 Rubber Glove Seduction

02 My Favorite Things